There are few things more capable of making an otherwise sane person behave completely irrationally than a break-up. However amicably things end, there’s admittedly something rewarding about the small opportunities for harmless revenge that come afterwards.

This week, internet sleuths were convinced they’d uncovered Channing Tatum’s own act of post-break-up pettiness, after discovering what they believe is a burner Instagram account followed by Tatum himself. The account had been leaving snarky comments about his ex, Zoë Kravitz, and her fiancé Harry Styles, while also finding time to praise Tatum himself: “He’s so genuine. No false pretences with this guy. And funny as hell, too. 😆 ”. The actor has denied that the account – identifiable by its beautiful green butterfly icon – belongs to him. But the saga got us thinking in the Dazed office: what’s the pettiest thing you’ve done after a break-up?

Below, friends, strangers and our readers anonymously confess their own. From hair removal cream to Vinted listings, here are their pettiest acts of break-up revenge.

TUPPER-WAR

“I took all the good Tupperware from our apartment and left them with only the mismatched lids and bottoms.”

EVERYTHING MUST GO

“I listed all the hoodies she’d left at mine on Vinted for lowball prices. Even her Chrome Hearts reps.”

SPECIAL DELIVERY

“A man once broke up with me via text message on Valentine’s Day. His reasoning? His feelings for me were so strong that he needed to break up with me immediately so he could go ahead and start the healing process. Being scared of one’s feelings sounds like the biggest bunch of baby bullshit that I’ve ever heard of.

“So, I sent flowers and a “congrats on your new baby” balloon bouquet to his work. He had to sign for it. If he could find time to break up with me at work, he could then explain to his coworkers why he was being congratulated on a new baby – ie, for being one – while also still at work.”

MARKETPLACE MENACE

“I made a fake Facebook account with their name, pretended to be a car broker and posted their car everywhere.”

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

“After guilting me into moving across the country with him, leaving all my friends and family behind, my ex decided to cheat on me several times. I was basically stuck in a lease with him and couldn’t go anywhere. Long story short, he was really insecure about his hairline, so I put Nair in his shampoo.”

PAYE BACK

“I reported them to HMRC for tax evasion.”

CRITIC-AL DAMAGE

“The pettiest thing I’ve ever done after a relationship is simply never speak to the other person ever again. But I maintain there’s a kind of aloof dignity in that, particularly if they had it coming (and they did!).

“But I have also been petty in ways which now cause me deep embarrassment. After my first ever breakup, when I was around 19, I once filmed myself ripping up a novel my ex-boyfriend had given me (all the while shouting out a stream of vicious, if accurate, literary criticism: “Trite! Cheesy! Middle-of-the-road!!!”) and added it to my Snapchat story, where many of our mutual friends could see it.

“Getting older may have its downsides, but at least today a) I would never do that and b) if I did, my friends would have me sectioned.”

TAKING THE PETTY ROUTE-R

“I broke his expensive Wi-Fi router. It ended up actually being mine. I was left with sad, broken antennas just dangling – a reminder of when petty goes wrong.”

NO FREE RECS

“I blocked them on Spotify. Partially so I would stop psychoanalysing every song they added to a playlist, but also because I didn’t want them getting put onto new tracks through my recently listened. My taste > theirs.”

BILLABLE HOURS

“I sent a Venmo request for the money they owed me with the title for wasting my time.”

I’M (NOT) WITH THE BAND

“I was in a band with my ex, and when we broke up – both the band and the relationship – he decided he wanted to hide all evidence of it. He started trying to convince the other members that we should delete our social media page entirely. I was proud of our music and worried he would just go ahead and delete it, so I pre-emptively removed everyone except me as admins from the page. I didn’t change anything, just left it preserved exactly as it was. It’s still there today, and I’m really glad. It would suck if it was erased from existence.”